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Truth bombs that interrupted my space and time in ways I could not ignore. Things I witnessed, dreamed, chased, gave and received. So, I packed up those journals and took a one-way ticket to solitary confinement in the desert, where I began writing what you hold now: an album, a record, a story of my life so far. What did I find? I found stories I witnessed and experienced, lessons I learned and forgot, poems, prayers, prescriptions, answers to questions I had, reminders of questions I still have, affirmations for certain doubts, beliefs about what matters, theories on relativity, and a whole bunch of bumperstickers.* I found consistent ways that I approached life that gave me more satisfaction, at the time, and still. I laughed, I cried, I realized I had remembered more than I expected, and forgot less. And you know what? I enjoyed myself more than I thought I would. Recently, I worked up the courage to sit down with those diaries and have a look at the thirty-five years of writing about who I’ve been over the last fifty. The idea of revisiting my life and musings was a daunting one I wasn’t sure if I’d enjoy the company.
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I never wrote things down to remember I always wrote things down so I could forget. Thirty-five years of realizing, remembering, recognizing, gathering, and jotting down what has moved me or turned me on along the way. Notes about successes and failures, joys and sorrows, things that made me marvel, and things that made me laugh out loud. I’VE BEEN IN THIS LIFE for fifty years, trying to work out its riddle for forty-two, and keeping diaries of clues to that riddle for the last thirty-five.
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Stepping in shit is inevitable, so let’s either see it as good luck, or figure out how to do it less often. We hit roadblocks, we fuck up, we get fucked, we get sick, we don’t get what we want, we cross thousands of “could have done better”s and “wish that wouldn’t have happened”s in life. I’ve just learned how to scrape it off my boots and carry on. I’m not perfect no, I step in shit all the time and recognize it when I do. It has helped me deal with pain, loss, and lack of trust.
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I’m an optimist by nature, and humor has been one of my great teachers. Adventures that have been significant, enlightening, and funny, sometimes because they were meant to be but mostly because they didn’t try to be. This is a playbook, based on adventures in my life. I am here to share stories, insights, and philosophies that can be objectively understood, and if you choose, subjectively adopted, by either changing your reality, or changing how you see it. Although I like preachers, I’m not here to preach and tell you what to do. Yes, I tell stories from the past, but I have no interest in nostalgia, sentimentality, or the retirement most memoirs require.